dear self,

dear 21 yr old self, 

You think you know what love is, but you will soon find out that this isn't love. Someone who takes away you friends, family, and most importantly your FREEDOM, doesn't love you. They are a monster. You had left for six months, and need to stay gone. Don't got back after six months only to be abused for another year and a half. You'll want to believe people can change, but people who are psychically abusive can't.  

Go out and celebrate on your 21st birthday! you only turn 21 once. Don't sit at home.  Alcohol doesn't make everyone abusive  like "him".  Most people you will soon meet are fun and upbeat when they drink.  

Re-think the whole "I'm never going to college thing"  The company you are a manager for will fold within the  next 10 years, and you won't be able to work your way up through the company like you had hoped. 

Once you leave this company people will be requiring people to have a college degree to apply for the jobs you are look for. This will make life so much easier if you get college out of the way-sooner than later. 

watching all those episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, will make you long for a relationship like that.  and David Boreanez will grow up to be even more attractive. 

don't lie to the people you love. it will hurt them. Even though you try to hide the truth from them, to not hurt them-once they find out it will hurt them, and hurt them badly. sorry Mama!

Don't do all the cleaning for that roommate, and certainly don't spend your time doing all her laundry.
Better yet, don't ever have a roommate, find a place you can afford to live in on your own. and don't let your roommate ever be that boy who was your first love. 

Save your MONEY, don't throw it away on tanning, fake nails, fake hair, great clothes, and all those trips to Target.  You will want to have a savings later in life when you get laid off from that first big girl job. 

speaking of tanning, you shouldn't do that. especially tanning your face. and even though you may be too tired-take your make-up off every night before bed.

don't freak out when that horrible roommate leaves you with the kitten she and the love of her life bought. He will leave her and she will be heartbroken and think he reminds her too much of the stuff animal he bought her. She will get sick of him and leave you with him. you will then have three cats. you will be overwhelmed with that. but will later learn that the kitten she left with you will be the best cat in the world.  

don't spend all those nights crying that you've lost your first love, and the only love you will ever know. several years later, through many bad dates, even worse relationships you will meet the  man of you dreams.  he will understand you better than you understand yourself. He will be the best man you've ever known. he will work harder than you ever could, and want to provide the best for you and your son. 

 oh and.... don't forget to take more photos. 


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  1. Tanning, fake nails, fake hair... check check check. :)

  2. Why am I blanking on who you are referring to here??

  3. I love these kind of posts. It's amazing how much we learn over the years, isn't it? Also love the vintage pic of you and Britni! :)

  4. I think this post! So much I would live to tell my young nieve self!

  5. great post. love the last photo too :)

  6. oh man there is SO much i would tell my 21yo self! ha!


I love hearing from you. Thanks for taking the time to read about Dexter Morgan and his adventures.