what I miss Wednesday (the Dexter Morgan-edition)

helloooo puppy pals. its Dex, my mom likes to call me by my full name Mr. Dexter Morgan. I hate that. she always says it when I'm in trouble. or when she gets overprotective. (can we say allllll the time or helicopter parent) she treats me like a baby still and I'm three, that's like 27 in dog years incaseyoudidntknow. mmk.

so my dad or my Papa as my parents call him is gone in Misery, I mean Missouri. He just had to get back and support my Mama and me. You see... she likes to spend lots of money on nail polish, make-up, books, don't get me started on these books. they've taken over the guest room, I hid in to get away from my 'rents. So that's why my dad is stuck down there. okay enough about Mom's crazy spending. Let me tell you why I miss my Papa.

I have nobody's face to lick in the morning, and don't even think I'm kidding. I have this problem, its called EXCESSIVE FACE LICKING. my parents tell me I'm the best at it. That I never stop, even when they want me to. You see my Papa has whiskers, Mama always yells him to shave his whiskers. I don't like him without whiskers. His face isn't as fun to clean.

My Papa and his whiskers. Mama said he might not want me showing this photo to you, but she doesn't care. 

his smooches-Mama misses those too. she is always smoochin' me. Its like get back woman, enough!

so I really like it when my Papa mows the lawn. I follow him all over. I dunno why but I just do. you see this thing called the vacuum, scares the pop right outta me.

playing the blanket game. you might ask, what the hayyyy is the blanket game?? well... its this game where my Papa gets a big quilt and rolls around on the ground and we fight play. Mama isn't nearly as good at this. she is always reading or painting her nails. 

he keeps my Mom from putting me in STUPID COSTUMES

notcoolatallmom. #Miserable.

he covers my "junk" when we take photos. its a guy thing. ladies you wouldn't understand. 

lastly, well I have a billion more things I could say about why I miss my Papa but... he doesn't make me do stupid Pinterest projects with him. does this look fun to you? 

so I miscounted. it happens when you have paws and not fingers. The very last thing I miss about my Papa is our family being together. Papa makes Mama very happy, and when Mama is happy she doesn't act all overprotective and shit. 

oh yeah if you like what I wrote you can check out my first ever post on my Mama's blog here


I love hearing from you. Thanks for taking the time to read about Dexter Morgan and his adventures.